Unwanted

Almost a month ago I mentioned about getting back on Skype and how I had feelings for my best friend. Time has passed. In these past few weeks a lot had happened.

For instance, Peanuts and I had come clean about our feelings and so the journey began. Not long after (a few days ago), I had this disturbing dream about that particular person, let's call the person Z. So what happened was, the day after the dream I kept pondering on whether I should say hi to Z since we haven't talked in almost 3 years or not.

Aaaaaand I did. That's when everything changed. Apparently I am nothing but a pathetic and desperate b*tch. You might have figured it out by now that Z is a guy who used to mean a lot to me...still does and that's the problem! Z has someone who "cares a lot" about him...a.k.a...someone who took over my place and I was thinking of claiming my role in Z's life again! Little did I know, I am nothing compared to Z's new "caretaker". She is INTELLIGENT, THIN and polite which is the total opposite of myself.

I know Z won't let her go easily but as mentioned, I'm a pathetic and desperate b*tch. I'd do anything to get what I want. Although deep down inside, I know I can't compete with her. I know he will never let her go...
I am still waiting for Z to change his mind though.

And Peanuts? Since I had this anonymous relationship with Z, Peanuts and I haven't talked a lot. I kept avoiding him because he's too jovial and I'm just not in the mood for that right now. I'm sorry, Peanuts.

Oh and because of this, my long lost best friend is back...ED

Yay!

Today I am back in Skype and had video call with my best guy friend from across the world. 
I missed him too much and decided to re-install Skype in my cellphone. As soon as I signed in, *ping* an IM saying:
 "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I misssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" by him; my peanuts (Heheh. There's a reason behind the name but I will talk about it in the next post. Stay tuned!)

We had video call for about 10 minutes but then I had to enter the class. So, we promised to talk again tonight (local time), morning his time. I'm not sure if I have mentioned about him before but I doubt so. Those who are following me on Twitter must know *winks* Aaaaaanyway, some people are saying that I am friend-zoning him but it's actually the other way round! To be frank, I like him more than a best friend but he doesn't seem to have the same interest with me... 

Nonetheless, today is a happy day for me. I rarely have this kind of day so I'm just gonna enjoy every second of it while I still can. 

Other than that, what makes me happier is that YOU readers are back! The number of views are increasing though it's not as much as the other blog but still! THANK YOU! I promise to give full commitment to this blog and I will also upload more pictures (just the way you like it in my other blog) soon!

P/s: I said that I'd post the rest of yesterday's poetry today but I've decided not to because I'm too happy to have a sad poetry ruining my post. Stay tuned for the right moment when I will post the rest of the poetry *hugs*

May Peace Be Upon You (:

Looking Back

Yesterday I looked into my former blog and was taken aback by the number of page views although I have stopped updating since 2011. 

I promoted this blog in the hope that readers will now shift to this site instead of the old one. Or else I might have to continue on my previous blog since this blog is like a ghost town.

Today I had only English class since my other class had been canceled. I was ecstatic because it means that I'll have time to come to the library and update you guys with current issues/my life before I go home with my mom & my brother. *grins*

I know, in today's technology I'd be able to update through my iPhone yet I am more comfortable in the classic way. Hehe. I only read blogs using my cell so yeah.

Anyway, before I entered my class I came across a few poetry which I can relate to myself nowadays.

The first one wrote:

"I know what it means!

When the people are singing and you feel alone.

When the people are dancing but you are still alone.

When you are there standing with them as a big stone.

I know what it means!

When your life has no taste or color.

When all the books and magazines have the same cover.

When you don't know your food is full of salt or sugar.

I know what it means!

When your life has no more fun or laughter.

When you don't care about all that you have,

It means that you are missing your real love..."

- Ayman Muminna (2007)

It's true. The poem says it all. All that is happening today is the result of what I did yesterday, whether I like it or not. The other 2 poems will be posted the next time around I promise *winks*

P/s: I promised to improvise the layout and I'm doing my best to design a new one but I'm still thinking of using the same template as my previous blog (http://yasmineelsor.blogspot.com/) because I love the darkness of the blog...

May Peace Be Upon You (:

First

It's March 1st and I am posting my first post of the year 2013. Looking back at my last post it seems like it happened just yesterday. It's been almost three months ago though. To those who are still reading my uncommitted blog, THANK YOU. At least there's someone out there who is willing to listen (read) my uninteresting stories about my dramatic life. Well, that's what I think my life is; dramatic.

Anywho, since my last post, there were so much that had happened. Like my college, (yes, I have moved, yet again) and how my brother is affecting my everyday life in college since he's my classmate (surprise!). There are so much to tell yet there's only tiny part of it that I can fully share with you since it involves people around me.

I am currently in the library at my new college and I'm loving the services that they offer here. I might be blogging from here from now on.....might. So yeah, good to have you readers on my blog back.

Oh and yeah! I might also post vlogs (if I have enough courage to do so) and pictures and whatnot. I love looking back at old pictures and reminisce the moments I had when the pictures were taken.

So yeah, til' then, stay awesome and dream big!

May Peace Be Upon You (:

Quick Update #2

It's been a while since I last updated. It's because I've been pretty busy with college. Assignments, homework and whatnot. I've also been dealing with homesickness. My classes are 4 days a week which allows me to have 3 days break every week where I will go home for the whole 3 days and will only return to college the morning before my first class. I really hope that I won't be dealing with it any longer. Homesickness affects not only emotionally, also financially. College is only less an hour away from home yet it is still a waste of money for me to commute. In college, I barely use my car since every essential places are within walking distance of my residence.

What I miss the most about home is my mom. No one else but her. I just miss her so much when I'm in college (I'm currently at home :D) Almost everything I do will remind me of her. She thinks I'm homesick because I miss my cousin though. Which I'm not! It's her I miss the most. Gosh! Just by thinking of it makes me feel sad already! Til' then, have a nice day/night!

May Peace Be Upon You (:

FYI #1

You should know that I'm no longer studying Economics. I had a terrible CGPA when I was doing ADP so that's why I left ADP. I'm taking diploma in something that I will reveal soon after I am able to accept the fact that I'm doing it. Life pretty much sucks for me right now but I have one thing in mind. Something my aunt always reminds me "BERSUSAH-SUSAH DAHULU, BERSENANG-SENANG KEMUDIAN" which means work hard first and enjoy the fruits of labor when it is sweetest. Looking forward to that 'bersenang-senang'!

May Peace Be Upon You (:

Wake Up Call

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to make the turn." 

-Unknown

Yesterday I went to the new college for the orientation and I must admit it sucked. Seriously, are they a university or a school?! Please be more realistic. I can't wait to get out of there...which will take another two and a half years. The orientation is supposed to end by this Wednesday but somehow (after all the sinful lies and whatnot) I managed to escape and went home this morning. Oh the freedom!

I'll be living with my roommate and other 4 housemates. All of us are in the same major which I think is a little awkward since we will see each other literally 24/7. Oh wait! I might be moving out from that unit since a friend of mine from Putrajaya is having an issue with her roommate and she's going to send in a request for me and her to live together in one room so I might have to move to another room with new housemates. I just hope that we won't get the top floor. I like living on the first floor...less stairs to climb. Anyhow, the facilities are tad bit too crappy which feels like a huge slap on my face when I first got there. Shit just got real! No more fancy college with top class facilities. This is what you deserve.

At the end of the day I can only hope that I will be able to get through this and make the best out of it. Wish me luck! 

May Peace Be Upon You (:

Ramadan 2012

Ramadan starts tomorrow. Excited? Not much. There are a lot of things going on in my head right now.

Going to the new college.

Adapting to a new life away from family.

Accepting the fact that I am no longer an ADP-ian.

I believe this is just a way of making me appreciate what I have and be grateful for it. If I pass this test, I will be able to achieve some of my goals like a piece of cake. Bottom line, remain FOCUSED

May Peace Be Upon You (:

(Posted using mobile)

Dream Big, Always

TOP 10 LIFE GOALS

•        BECOME A MILLIONAIRE
•        ESTABLISH A PRIVATE FOUNDATION
•        LIVE IN BOSTON, MA   
•        MARRY A SUCCESSFUL MUSLIM-CAUCASIAN
•        OWN A DREAM HOUSE
•        OWN A CONVERTIBLE CAR
•        OWN A DREAM JOB
•        GO TO ONE OF THE TOP 50 BEST SCHOOLS IN THE US
•        BECOME ONE OF KAPPA ALPHA THETA SISTERS
•       STUDY IN THE US

*these are just the top ones; I still have a long lists of my life goals

May Peace Be Upon You (:

Quick Update #1

"Do things that will encourage you to go for what you've been wanting to do." 

- Me

So, today I went to MACEE fair. Well, it was my second time now and this one is definitely the best I've ever been to. Way better than the first one I went last year. Why? It's because there were lots of well-known schools there, which means more public universities! I spent 4 hours there and went home with tons of free goodies, prizes and of course, brochures from the universities.


One funny story. The whole time I was there, I totally forgot that I was (as in still is) in Malaysia! Ha ha! and you know what was the worse part? I talked behind someone's back and when the person gave me a look, then only I realized that I was still in Malaysia and they were Malaysians too. God! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say it to you but you took the representative's time too long! Heh. I'm such an impatient human. 


Anyway, I had a lot of fun today! I really can't wait to transfer. If only the fees are in Ringgit Malaysia which will be way cheaper, I would have gone to the states by now. Hmph. 


Note to self: You just have to get that 4.0 CGPA and everything else will come along easy. Piece of cake! AS IF! Oh gosh. 


Yeah so, I shall log out now and do something more beneficial than nagging. Till then.


May Peace Be Upon You (: